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That was a lie. There's not much more than that. I'm sorry; it's only the description and I've already disobeyed your trust.
What happened? You haven't been the same since she came into your life. You used to be so carefree and easygoing; now you're as on-edge as ever, just waiting at her beck and call. I can see it. The more time you spend with her, the more I see hope and joy leave your eyes.
It's sad. I wish she could bring us back the old you.
***
I'm sorry you had to see that, but it needed to be said. For the past few days, my roommate has been stuck in a relationship - one that would confuse most, but entice others. It's a destructive and abusive relationship with a certain woman. Her name? Lightning...something.
McQueen?
Yes, you read that correctly: My roommate is in an abusive relationship with Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII. Now, before we hurt ourselves contemplating the absurdity of this game's title, or even the fact that it's the third installment in a series branching off from the thirteenth installment in a series, allow me to explain myself.
He recently began the game, and he's only come up for air a couple times. Normally, I'd say "All the power to him," if it was for a game with an engaging story, furious action or any other addictive qualities. However, from what I've seen (lord knows he won't let anyone else play it), LR:FFXIII is not one of those games. What I have seen is this: You play as Lightning, an android who's discovered that she's pretty much Jesus (in that you work for God - yes, the characters refer to him as God, capital "G"), and you're tasked with saving people's souls before the end of days hits (if I use too many italics, understand that it represents how ridiculous this thing is).
Other than the combat, the game appears to be a total mess (again, appears - I haven't been able to try it myself). Walls of text constantly appear as tutorials for new mechanics. Much of the time playing is spent customizing Lightning with clothes designed in the mindset of, "How little material can we put on her before it physically falls off?" My biggest issue is that the game lets you play so little, because it's more interested in shoving its clumsily told story in your face. To put it bluntly, I sunk a decent amount of time into the first Final Fantasy XIII (read that statement again if you need to), and I have absolutely no idea what's happening in the new one.
I'm all for complex stories. One of my favorite comic series will always be Geoff Johns' run on Green Lantern. In a time where other series would generally try to be accessible to new readers, GL thrived on backstory and an expanded universe. This worked because new elements were introduced gradually and given time to find their footing. In LR:FFXIII, exposition is constantly being dumped on other exposition, and nothing feels organic or cohesive.
And yet, despite all these flaws (or outright problems), my roommate can't get enough. In fact, he'll yell at you if you hint at any possible flaws in the game. So, if we want to connect our relationships with games to our relationships with other people, where does he fall on the spectrum? Candy Crush Saga is the hit-it-and-quit-it fling. Grand Theft Auto V is the bad boy with the really big...game map. Gone Home is the under-appreciated artsy person. I'd say that Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII is the abusive, Chris Brown relationship*. Even though it isn't good for him, my roommate always finds a reason to come back. Because my roommate is actually Rihanna.
And someone always ends up regretfully watching Battle of the Year.
Much of this isn't that different from today's release of South Park: The Stick of Truth. The reviews have been quite positive, actually, saying that the humor is on point with the show and that the gameplay can be pretty fun. However, a few of them (Kotaku's and Rev3Games' reviews in particular) described major technical problems, glitches, and even game-breaking bugs.
How did commenters react? Not well. It seemed that at any hint of this much anticipated game (I've certainly been looking forward to it) not being completely amazing, the pitchforks and torches would come out. So many people were ready and willing to defend this game that had just barely released (I can only assume most of them had yet to play it when they posted) that they were willing to get pretty nasty toward any negative speech.
Where does this leave us? Why do many of us act as the sworn protectors of games that clearly aren't as sterling on paper as they are in our minds? I honestly don't know. Perhaps we have some sense of loyalty to a franchise, like Final Fantasy and South Park. Those characters and stories have been good to us in the past, so we feel like we need to reciprocate.
Or, you know, maybe it's just Stockholm Syndrome.
Have you ever been stuck in an abusive relationship with a game? What was it? Why do you think we're so defensive of games (or other media) that just aren't very good? Or am I just full of crap? Please let me know in the comments! I'm really interested what you guys have to say on the subject.
[*No, domestic abuse isn't funny. However, this analogy seemed to work pretty well. Besides, Rihanna's with that guy from Degrassi now, so I'm sure it's cool to say whatever. Don't take anything I say too personally.]
Yesterday was pretty cool. I made some oven pizza, got frivolous on Amazon, and, thanks to a friend of a friend, was able to try out the new Oculus Rift. For those of you who don't know, the Oculus is basically our biggest step toward virtual reality. And dang, it's...sexy?
Check out those curves. So streamlined.
You strap it on, put on headphones and grab a controller - simple (?) as that. At the moment, the Oculus is in the development stage, so there aren't many games or uses for it yet; but I assume they're coming, just like a few aesthetic and functional improvements to the device. The few demos I tried and others I watched my friends play were impressive enough to get us acquainted with the device.
The Oculus is like Six Flags, in that roller coasters are a good way to get acclimated. While my friends rode through some very simple demos, I partook in a rather complicated Mayan temple, Indiana Jones-esque ride. It was a great demonstration of how the Oculus worked: Bend over the railing to look down into the abyss, look behind you at one point to find the boulder from Raiders chasing after you, stuff like that.
Next was not only a good use of the Rift, but a solid idea for an indie game. It was a first-person four-player shooter that you...play by yourself. Walk into the arena (a very massive box with a Mirror's Edge feel), shoot floating cubes to get points, and then do it all again. But each time after, you take the perspective of a different version of your first character, and then you play the arena while your first "self" goes through a recording of your first go. It's a nice idea, and it's one that's more fun than a usual tech demo.
Speaking of absolute tech demos, I watched a friend play through a game with one objective: sit in an office and keep both control keys pressed down on your virtual laptop. It sounds simple until the Oculus throws up the illusion of flies buzzing around your head, knives falling just next to your "arms," a spider crawling up your arm and into your head, and, uh, a raptor. It's all very sound-heavy, showing the vital importance of having a decent headset.
I saw both a horror demo and a skydiving demo, but neither was as impressive as the last demo I played: a detailed re-creation of the "DK Mountain" track from Mario Kart: Double Dash!!. I was completely taken aback when I jumped "inside" the Mushroom Kingdom. The other Oculus games were interesting, but nothing else popped like the familiar music and the distinctive designs of the track. I was happy to find there wasn't a time limit or other racers, because I had an amazing time just taking in everything around me. And listening to the music. Dancing took place.
Unfortunately, despite how fun some of the demos were, the Oculus Rift feels less like a complete console and more like the first step toward a complete experience. To reach that comprehensive idea, a few things need to happen first. First off is the screen inside the Oculus headset. The one I used was of a considerably low resolution and was easily smudged, which take the focus off the game and can even be headache inducing. Speaking of focus, the headset can be difficult to position so it's actually in focus. Again, headaches. Lastly, I think the Rift would strongly benefit from getting rid of the wires. When you're constantly turning around and moving, stuff gets tangled.
My roommate asked me if the Oculus was the future of gaming. It's not. It's a future of gaming. There's huge potential here for experimental gaming, and I'm really excited to see what happens.
But for real though, Nintendo. Let's see some Oculus Mario Kart. Get on that.
Happy 2014, everyone! It's a time for new beginnings, new goals, and the realization that probably nothing will be different in your life just because the calendar changed. And since that's way too much happiness for my taste, I'd like to immediately remind you of the past year's heartbreaks and regrets, with my list of things I really liked that happened to come out in 2013. Keep in mind, this is not a "Top X" list, because this is not Buzzfeed and I actually respect my readers. I also had no way to consume EVERY PIECE OF CONTENT in the past 365 days, so my list is in no way definitive.
I'm going to post these periodically, starting with the medium I have the least authority to judge and going from there. Remember, these are alphabetical order, except for the last item on the list, which is my favorite for the year.
Television
Attack on Titan
If you're like me, you don't watch much anime. So much of it is way too out there for me to follow, and it gets just as convoluted and referential as a Rick Remender comic. Yet, I thought I'd give Attack on Titan a try, simply because I had free time once and wanted to try something new. I'm so glad I did. Even though I'm just over halfway done with Attack, I'm happy to give it a solid recommendation. It's a really cool premise that's just original enough for me not to have seen it before. It could use a bit more action, but if you're looking for an accessible anime that isn't too long and will keep your attention, you could do worse than this giant monster fighting epic. You can also watch it now for free, so that's cool too.
Breaking Bad
May it rest in peace. Breaking Bad was one of those shows where you could binge watch all five seasons or anticipate it week after week and enjoy it just the same. And this final season was...fantastic. There's no point in trying to tiptoe around spoilers when describing those last eight episodes, so if you haven't seen this show yet, do that now. Otherwise, you're missing out on one of the most masterfully crafted series in history, and definitely the best one I've ever seen.
Orange is the New Black
This one doesn't have the epic feel of the last two, but it can be just as compelling. It's a Netflix-produced and -distributed comedy/drama about the hierarchy of a women's correctional facility. I know that doesn't sound like the coolest thing ever, but it turns out to be well worth your time. This was one of the shows that crept up on me; I never thought about how much I enjoyed it until I realized I was nine episodes in. If you have some time over the holiday break, you could do much worse than Orange is the New Black. Favorite of 2013: Arrow
The first season of Arrow was something of a guilty pleasure. It didn't have the best actors or the highest production value or the most intricate stories. But it had a good enough onscreen realizations of the DC Comics characters to keep me watching, and I'm so glad I did. Season 2 has really come into its own, and it's grown into this legitimately great series. This is the show I anticipate every week. This is the show I drop everything to watch on Wednesday nights. This is my show. So shut up already about its awful ad campaign.
Again, I wasn't able to listen to every single album from 2013, but apps like Spotify do much of the heavy lifting.
Lorde, Pure Heroine
Even if you're tired by now of the radio's obsession with "AND WE'LL NEVER BE ROOOOOYAAAAALS," please give this album a try. Lorde's eccentric voice is enough of a draw already, but the vulnerability and accessibility of her lyrics are really refreshing when compared to the other material pop music is pumping out. And Lorde herself just seems to not give a crap, so that's cool.
Standout song: "Team"
Favorite of 2013: Vampire Weekend, Modern Vampires of the City
If Pure Heroine was about embracing the grounded reality of the teenage years, Modern Vampires is about growing up. Even though Vampire Weekend's previous two albums are among my favorites, at times they seemed a bit juvenile, focusing on the struggles of being a wealthy college kid from New England. It's nice to see the band "come of age," in a sense, and watch their horizons expand. And it's some of the most beautifully (yes, that's specifically the word I'd like to use) written music I've heard from a band in some time. Not "inventive" or "avant garde," but beautiful.
Standout song: "Hannah Hunt"
Anti Album of the Year: Kanye West, Yeezus
Yes, I know I'm not the go-to expert for rap or hip-hop (people tell me they're different things). However, when an album receives heavy attention - like album of the year attention - I look up from my indie record that's much cooler than yours. This year, that album was Yeezus. And boy did it suck. Yes, I know Kanye is a blithering idiot whose rapping skills are debatable, but I was willing to give this one a listen. It's a mind-numbing slog that all starts to blend together after a while. Everything is distorted to oblivion, and the lyricism all revolves around the tired notion of, "Man, I sure feel sorry for Kanye West - he has it rough." If you have an hour of your life you'd like to waste, Yeezus should do the trick.
Standout song: This uncomfortable joke
Comics
Batman
Batman's origin story is like an oral folktale. It's been passed down and retold so many times in so many different ways that it changes somewhat, but its main message stays the same. I groaned a little at the thought of DC reissuing the Dark Knight's beginnings again with "Zero Year"; but I was very pleasantly surprised to find it didn't suck. In fact, it's quite good. Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo have used 2013 (with a little help from DC's love of events) to present Batman's first year of crime fighting in a fresh new way. Snyder's thoughtful writing gets to really shine in this series; he makes "Zero Year" less about the moments of Batman becoming Batman and more about Bruce Wayne figuring out how to introduce Batman into Gotham City, which I loved. And not enough can be said about Capullo, whose cartoonish-yet-gruesome pencils perfectly match the tone of this series.
East of West
Jonathan Hickman loves world building. He clearly takes time to develop a rich cast of characters and a world in which they can play. This can sometimes be a fault, as seen in this year's Infinity event he did for Marvel. The event required audiences to have read the main event books as well as Hickman's entire runs on both Avengers and New Avengers. Unfortunately, I simply didn't have the money to buy all these books, and so I had to miss out. But all this is why I'm so glad East of West exists. Instead of readers needing a thorough knowledge of the Marvel Universe and three different series, they can just pick up one brand new title and be introduced to an incredible story with beautiful art by Nick Dragotta. The plot is about the three of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse trying to track down and kill Death, all taking place in a futuristic America in an alternate timeline where no one really won the Civl War. It has both Western and Sci-Fi - I'm sorry, am I losing you? I promise it's not as hard to remember as it sounds. Being a new title, East of West dips its readers' feet into its waters at just the right pace to tell one of the most creative tales of the year. And at $10, you'd be stupid not to pick it up.
Favorite of 2013: The Wake
Another Scott Snyder book, I know. Where Batman showcased his ability to write with an existing character, The Wake exhibits Snyder's creativity. The book is about...well, it's...it's about mermaids. But think less of Ariel and Ursula and more of The Cabin in the Woods. These are killer creatures with an awesome design if you're into monsters and the like, and it's all done with Sean Murphy's jagged, intense artwork. If there's one thing I love more than the concept, it's the presentation. Most of The Wake's story is told like an action-horror movie, not unlike John Carpenter's The Thing. Scientists go underwater to examine a creature, the creature isn't happy, and things go badly. That's not to say the book is predictable by any means. But the last page makes a genre flip that really took me by surprise. Again, this one's only 10 bucks. I promise, it's really friggin' cool.
Consistently Great Series I Hope You Haven't Forgotten About Yet:
Green Arrow
Written by Jeff Lemire
Art by Andrea Sorrentino
Saga
Written by Brian K. Vaughan
Art by Fiona Staples
Hawkeye
Written by Matt Fraction
Art by David Aja, Francesco Francavilla
and Matt Hollingsworth
Uncanny Avengers
Written by Rick Remender
Art by John Cassaday, Daniel Acuna
and Steve McNiven
Games
Gone Home
If I'm being honest, I was not as impressed with Gone Home as other people. It's way too short at just a couple hours (yes, I dug through everything I could find), especially considering the $20 price, which seems like a bit much, and the presentation of the story might let you leave a few stones unturned. But in discussions of games as legitimate and unique storytelling devices, this should be at the top of the list. Everything in Gone Home complements the story - level design, aesthetics, game progression - everything. It's unfortunate that with that statement I can't really say more about the plot, because spoilers are an issue. But I can say I appreciate how this story was presented. Scattered documents and audio diaries let you piece together how events in this family went down, as opposed to the game outright telling you. While it wasn't the most fun I had all year, Gone Home is a big step forward for game narratives.
Grand Theft Auto V
I hope my previous post about this game didn't sound too negative. Yeah, GTAV has a lot of issues with storytelling: unlikeable characters, odd shifts in tone, misplaced cynicism, lack of respect of women, etc. But, if you're willing to look past these missteps, GTAV is one amazing game. The story itself is a great crime epic. The missions are almost always consistently great and are a perfect level of insane. Oh yeah, and the world is damn impressive. It's massive, sprawling, varied, engaging and a bunch of other cool adjectives. Am I rambling? Probably, but you should definitely give this one a few dozen hours of your time.
Lego Marvel Superheroes
I know the Lego games receive flak for their less-than-stellar gameplay. It's mostly running from one area to the other while punching the scenery and picking up money. Even so, I've loved these games since the very first Lego Star Wars, for which I'd wake up an hour early to get in a level before school. So it delights me to know that the games keep expanding with more and more detail. Marvel Superheroes is the biggest yet, with some ungodly number of characters and some ungodly number of side missions and collectibles. While the "Find studs to unlock characters to reveal more characters you need studs for" game loop isn't that complicated, it's scarily addicting. The other night, a buddy and I played this for nine hours - 7 pm to 4 am. Nine. Hours. And this series is keeping couch co-op alive, so that's awesome too.
Rogue Legacy
Like Lego Marvel Superheroes,Rogue Legacy is a great example of how a great game loop realized by tight controls and rewarding gameplay can, by their powers combined, form an awesome experience. You pick a character with weird, quirky traits that affect the gameplay just enough. You fight monsters and pick up gold. You die. You buy upgrades and new equipment. Then you do it all over again. And it's amazing. Even though it doesn't have a deep, nuanced story or doesn't push the medium forward in some new, edgy way, Rogue Legacy is simply one of the most fun games I've played in a while. It's a great way to achieve that "gamer zen" you hear about from time to time.
Favorite of 2013: Bioshock Infinite
Ken Levine, you magnificent beast. I couldn't even begin to suggest how this game came together, with it being one of the most creative and revolutionary outings in modern gaming (yeah, give me at least one groan-worthy statement). The narrative is fascinating, original, detailed, fleshed out to an insane degree, and it all comes to life through superb voice acting from Troy Baker and Courtnee Draper. It's beautiful: graphics are crisp and the art direction stands alone. It's use of music is fantastic, and at times it creatively catches you off guard. And it's fun. I love the swashbuckle-y action, the inclusion of the skyhooks and the unique vigor powers. But Infinite's take on the adventure epic and, eventually, games in general is my favorite game story of the past year. I don't really want to talk more about it other than to say that if you have yet to play Bioshock Infinite, you should go change that. I'll leave you with one of Infinite's great songs and my personal favorite use of a song in a video game:
Movies
With all the time I wasted putting off the last part of this list, I actually had time to come up with some sort of structure for it. So here are my five favorite movies of the year, in order.
Frozen
Frozen's ad campaign could've done better. Before the movie's release, very little of the advertising helped convey what made Frozen unique, and it appeared to be just another cookie cutter product off the family animation assembly line. But, if you haven't heard by now, Frozen is pretty great. The animation is solid (if not just a little uncreative), the voice cast performs well, and the soundtrack - it's a good soundtrack. Songs have a nice Broadway feel to complement the singers (Idina Menzel is a standout, with solid props going to Josh Gad as well). Yet, even with how good the soundtrack is, one of my favorite aspects of Frozen is what it does with its story. What begins as a woman's quest to get her sister back evolves into something of an examination and update of Disney's princess formula. It's a good step forward for the genre as well as one of the most enjoyable movies from the past holiday season.
The World's End
Edgar Wright is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors. I love the emphasis he puts on editing and effects (both practical and animated), and his direction of action sequences in Scott Pilgrim and now The World's End has to be seen to be believed. It's this along with the expert acting and solid script that make the movie great. The Simon Pegg-Nick Frost duo has never been better. Frost gives everyone a nice change of pace from his usual slacker role by trading places with Pegg's straight man. And this is easily some of Pegg's best work. His role is a very grounded and raw one, and he gives the emotional depth that many other comedies are sorely lacking. And The World's End is really funny. It's a comedy, so I guess I should say that too.
American Hustle does right what many other movies fail to do: tell an extensive story that never loses steam or the interest of the audience. As long as you have a decently resilient bladder, the blink-and-you-might-miss-it type of storytelling is really rewarding, even on Hustle's generous runtime. David O. Russell's previous two films showed that he's an excellent director of actors, and that skill shows its face here. Each character is distinct and memorable, and they're all met with strong offerings by Hustle's small but talented cast. It's a shame not many people saw this when it debuted, because this is easily one of the best movies of the year. And it won Best Comedy at the Golden Globes, so good job or whatever.
The Wolf of Wall Street
If you've ever wondered what makes a great director, watch The Wolf of Wall Street. This movie has a very strong style and vision, all carried out by Martin Scorsese, the guy with the eyebrows. Only he could make a three-hour movie that leaves you wanting more (It's like the anti-Her). That all comes from Wolf's theme of excess - too many drugs, too many hookers, too many no-no words. Everything about the movie burns an image in your mind as well. This is one of those I saw a couple weeks ago that I'm still thinking about. But that might be from the...interesting imagery and colorful language Wolf relishes in. But hey, morals aren't everything.
You're probably wondering where I've been the past few months. You've probably wondered if I've been brutally murdered after finding myself in debt to the Underground Ostrich Racing League (UORL). I have. I'm writing this from another plane of existence.
But we have more pressing matters to discuss. Grand Theft Auto V was released about a month ago, and, naturally, one would think a guy who writes about prevalent pop culture odds and ends would have a few words to say. And I do, now that I've actually finished the main campaign and can talk from a place other than my butt. Although, admittedly, it's a nice butt - just misinformed in a few areas. Since I, the writer, and you, the reader, lead very busy lives, I don't have time to carefully construct an in-depth article about GTA V, the game. Instead, here's a quick blow-by-blow question-and-answer setup with several queries I see often asked about the game along with my responses. So basically, heres a page of me talking to myself - kinda like Garfield without the Garfield. Oh yeah, there's spoilers, too.
It's the saddest thing you'll read without "Nicholas Sparks" in the byline.
I'm poor/stupid and haven't picked up the game yet. Should I?
Yes. GTA V is one of the most fun games I've ever played. It takes the immersive world of GTA IV and removes all the grittiness that took the joy out of that game. Missions range anywhere from assassinating a CEO to flying a biplane into another larger plane and then jumping out of that plane. I might be underselling it, but this game is mad creative. The world of Los Santos alone is worth the price of admission. It's about a 10 minute plane ride from one side of the map to the other - that's really freaking big if you're confused. And it's so crammed with secrets and side-missions that you could easily spend a day exploring.
Is GTA V misogynistic?
Absolutely. The series continues to feature male protagonists while presenting the only female characters as idiots or prostitutes. And the only serious woman in the game gets killed - in spectacular fashion, might I add. While I continue to play and see unimportant female characters, I also get the idea that the lovely designers at Rockstar don't really have an interest in adding more women. The world seems content with its depiction of each sex.
Did the torture mission go too far?
Yes, there's a mission that requires you to torture a man for information. No, it's not fun in anyway. And if I'm being honest, I don't think it really worked, even in the game's context. GTA V attempts to make a statement about torture as the mission wraps up, trying to say how torture doesn't work and it's only for the empowerment of the torturer. Nevertheless, it still puts the subject in mini-game form, and everything ends up as a really mixed message. The whole event seemed like a misfire to me.
Should Grand Theft Auto V win Game of the Year?
At this point, I don't really care about game of the year awards. For a long time, GOTY was won by whichever title had the most explosions or the badassiest characters. Now, that's all gone out the window. The Walking Deadthrew a wrench into the whole operation by winning a number of GOTY awards and by being a point-and-click downloadable adventure game. This let me realize that there's no point into throwing such different titles together into one pool and deciding which one is objectively the best.
But if you had to ask me, I'd still go with BioShock Infinite for game of the year. Yeah, remember that one from way back in March? It's still in my head for having one of the best stories in gaming, told in a way only games could. And the actual gameplay of it isn't anything to sneeze at. I found myself several times having to take a moment to catch my breath after the big set piece battles. Most of that's from being overweight, but a good portion was caused by the sheer fun of the game. Lastly, Infinite did something GTA V never could - feel things. Like emotional things.
[SPOILER] It made Booker feel questionable things.
So there's a few of my thoughts on one of the biggest games to ever be released. Until the next undetermined time, stay classy, friends.
The man who killed me is named Eddie Thomas. Bring him to justice.
My goodness. Last night at their E3 press conference, whether by pure serendipity or a change in their model made that very afternoon, Sony executed the best possible business move against their Microsoft opponents. In response to the revelation that the Xbox One would not support used games or the lending of games to friends (at least not very well), would basically have to always be connected to the Internet, and would cost $500, Sony countered by saying the PlayStation 4 would treat used and lent games as consoles always have, would not require an online connection, and would cost about one hundred dollars cheaper, with a price tag of $400. As someone who was, to say the least, concerned about Microsoft's assertions, this sounds pretty freaking awesome.
Take note, douchebag.
Yet, I also got a little worried. I had played everything on a 360 this generation, so shouldn't I move onto a One next generation? After some minor deliberation, no, I don't think I should.
Through my time as an Xbox 360 owner, I guess I've unfortunately fallen into the "fanboy" realm, meaning I've closed myself off to anything not put out on or related to the 360. And this isn't an unusual occurrence. You can take a trip to that small corner of town called the Internet and see fanboyism everywhere, and for the weirdest of things.
You can also see sexy fanfiction about dinosaurs, but I won't tell you how to Internet.
However, once you remove my fanboy tendencies, Microsoft has given me no reason to stick onboard for the transition to the next generation. The price is high, none of the exclusives tickled my fancy, and, oh yeah, all that other garbage. Not even my library of 360 titles will keep me on the green side. Want to know what the Xbox One and PS4 have in common? Neither plays my 360 games.
Once you strip away the pageantry, you realize that Sony didn't "kill the Xbox One," and they didn't "bury Microsoft." They just made an impressive business decision, and it's enough to hook me. So if you're in the same boat as me, take a step back and see if, in terms of business, the Xbox One is something behind which you want to put your money. And if your a Sony person who's really interested in the One, do the same. Furthermore, feel free to be passionate about the system you buy. Just don't be petty, because you don't owe these manufacturers anything.
Have fun with the rest of E3. I suddenly have the urge to look up pictures of triceratops.
Halley's Comet. The United States Census. The changing of the console cycle. Events like these happen once, maybe twice, in a lifetime, and we are lucky enough to be in the midst of one such happening. There is a new Xbox on the horizon, and it goes by the confusing moniker "Xbox One," because there totally isn't another Xbox to which people have given that name. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to have basic cable, so I watched the reveal and recorded some of my thoughts. In case you missed it, the show was on Spike, your source for everything deep and cerebral.
Also, Manswers.
Since the PlayStation 4 announcement is still fresh in everyone's mind, Microsoft countered in one of the best ways they could, by actually showing the console. And darn if it is not sexy.
Admittedly, it's a bit boxy. But curves aren't everything.
The box itself has been upgraded with a Blu-Ray drive, a buttload of internal memory for what I can assume is a push for digital content, and an HDMI in port.. However, once the device is turned on, and the tiny Satan-wizards inside work their black magic, the Xbox One gets much more impressive. It instantly goes to the dashboard without any delay or need for updates, as mentioned in the presentation. While Windows 8 is an obvious inspiration, it has a much bigger emphasis on your recent activity and even what your friends are doing at the moment.
Xbox One's big push is to replace everything you need and everyone you love. It does this through "instant switching," kind of like multitasking on smart phones but on steroids. After plugging in your cable/satellite TV to the HDMI in port and connecting to anything else that you want to give you ADHD, the Xbox One allows you to switch between games, movies, and TV, almost instantly. Oh, I see what they did there.
Or maybe just between J.J. Abrams films and "The Price is Right." We don't know for sure.
If you squinted, you could even see some games for the new Xbox. While we were promised 15 new franchises, we only got to see one: Quantum Break. Developed by Remedy, the folks behind the OG Max Payne games and Alan Wake,Quantum Break is...well, I don't know what it is.
Others included a new Forza and the inevitable Call of Duty: Ghosts. I found it odd that Microsoft decided to show off their innovation with a studio that's been putting out the same game since 2007. But maybe I'm being too hard on them; they do have some pretty novel features planned.
I'm pretty excited for this new console. The biggest question left is how much it'll cost; I assume we'll find out sometime before it launches later this year.
I knew since I promised you guys I'd write a review of Injustice: Gods Among Us that it'd be a little late coming out of the gate. Maybe Thursday or Friday instead of the regular Wednesday. But instead, I go to college, where we have work to do. Between a paper and a speech on said paper (which went awesome, thanks for asking), I didn't get a whole lot of time to play around with Injustice at the time of its release last Tuesday. I felt compelled to wait until I experimented with all it had to offer before I gave my opinion on it; in the meantime, I, you know, went to school. Juggling activities is hard, and to quote the philosopher Swanson,
After a week of nothing, I figured I'd give you guys my opinion on what I have experienced, which, to give me some credit, is most of the game. And I have to say, it's pretty friggin' awesome.
Injustice's main draw is its story campaign. I'd have to describe the story as the best episode of Justice League: The Animated Series you've ever seen. And I have to assume the writers had that in mind. There's everything from the team dynamic of the League, clever writing, and a terrific voice cast ripped straight from the cartoon. The only misstep here is Phil LaMarr as Aquaman. The guy's one of the most talented actors in the business, but the voice of "Literally every black guy ever" doesn't quite mesh as the King of Atlantis.
Like this, but more in line with a pissed-off Hermes Conrad.
For all of you wondering why Green Arrow and Harley Quinn would team up to take down Wonder Woman, I can assure you it works here. Anyone familiar with DC's use of alternate Earths will feel right at home, and newcomers can get caught up with a bit of suspended disbelief. And don't worry about finding the tie-in comics to get caught up. They do a good job of exposing how ridiculous the story is when they look at each individual development, so I'd recommend you just piece together the game's allusions to the backstory. As for the reason Bats can take down Superman? Drugs. Listen up, kids. Your favorite heroes take HGH.
Injustice features an impressive 24 fighters for you to try out. They all add a nice sense of variety to a game that could've simply had the major players and called it a day. Admittedly, there are some major balance issues among the fighters. Nothing is in place to discourage move spamming, so you could potentially rise to dominance by using Deathstroke's guns the entire time. A few of the characters seem a little overpowered as well. Solomon Grundy has several moves that can't be blocked or cut off by other attacks; and if you play a friend who uses Doomsday, they probably won't be your friend after. As long as you and your friends share the same sense of exploration when trying out the fighters, you shouldn't have any frustrations with cheap strategies.
The gameplay is also mostly amazing. Controls can be customized in every way, from button layouts to control stick usage - feel free to stick with the directional inputs of Mortal Kombat, or switch to the quarter-circle turns of Street Fighter. Most of the characters feel very responsive, allowing long combos and juggles that feel awesome pulling off. Stage transitions and interactive environments offer something fresh not found in other fighters, and each character's special move is absurdly cool. Hey, remember that "mostly" earlier in the paragraph? A few of the characters such as Bane and Killer Frost have seemingly no melee range, forcing you to get up close and risk being launched into a ground-and-pound. Furthermore, Injustice is difficult. Like swearing-and-throwing-things difficult. Luckily, the difficulty lowers slightly after a couple straight losses, but I don't think I should need to throw matches just to get past a round in the "Battles" mode.
Speaking of modes, Injustice: Gods Among Us has a metric buttload of them. My international readers can tell you that a metric buttload is about 1.3 times that of a standard buttload. There's the story, the arcade-like "Battles," the weird-if-it-wasn't-there versus mode, and the somewhat confusing S.T.A.R. Labs missions. Several missions offer a new level of challenge to normal fights, such as dodging falling debris or keeping an opposing Superman out of the sunlight so he can't heal. Others feel out of place and not much more than mini-games. Others still are just downright frustrating. Try to avoid getting hit for a full twenty seconds by a Joker who waits until the last five to pull out an unstoppable pistol. It's...it's freaking stupid. And I hate it. And Joker sucks. Sound frustrating?
Just looking at this picture is giving me an ulcer.
I had mentioned earlier that I would only discuss what I was able to play. By that, I mean to say that I was able to try out everything but the online multiplayer. But hey, if I wanted contact with new people, I'd go outside. I'll give you an addendum once I make my way to Xbox Live.
In closing, Injustice: Gods Among Us is well worth your time. Honestly, it can be stupidly frustrating at time, but for all I know it's a secret attempt at studying aggression in gamers. If you're a fan of fighters, comics, or simply nostalgia for the cartoons of your childhood, I really encourage you to give this one a try. If you do, make an effort to play "Under the Sea" while playing as Aquaman. I tried it the other night, it works great.
"What do they got, a lot of sand? We've got a hot crustacean band..."
Have any of you gotten around to playing yet? I really want to know what you guys think of it. Also, in the comments below, write your favorite Disney song/video game match-up. Mine is "Colors of the Wind" and Assassin's Creed 3.
Writer's block strikes again! I took a break from posting last week, and I had hoped to come back with both a vengeance and a comparison of DC's New 52 and Marvel NOW!. But it was terribly uninteresting, and I'd never put out an article that's only half decent. Here's an article about things happening that isn't decent at all.
Yesterday, GameInformer broke the story that the next Batman: Arkham [something or other] game was coming, and quickly. On October 25th of this year, we'll have our hands on Batman: Arkham Origins, a prequel to Asylum. The title features a younger, less experienced Dark Knight taking on eight assassins in Gotham City, the most notable being Deathstroke the Terminator. I'm pretty open about the fact that Arkham City is my favorite game of all time - it has a great story, terrific gameplay and feel, and it's disturbingly beautiful. It's just one of those games that clicked for me personally. Naturally, you'd think I'd be the first to pre-order; however, something has me a little cautious of the new title: It's developed by Warner Bros. Games Montreal and not Rocksteady (the studio that put out the other two). Apparently, they developed the Wii U port of City; but only six people in the US bought a Wii U, so I haven't played it. More information can be found in the new issue of GameInformer. It's a magazine with, you know, paper and words, so be careful and don't hurt yourself.
Jimmy Fallon is set to take the reins of The Tonight Show from Jay Leno.
Heh.
In "Making News Out of Stories that Aren't Really News" news, Apple banned today's 12th issue of Saga on the Comixology iOS app for its depictions of gay sex. Apparently, this is somehow more offensive than its depiction of straight sex, which happens every other issue and doesn't seem to have any boundaries.
For the second year in a row, The Consumerist has named Electronic Arts the "Worst Company in America." EA beat out Bank of America in the March Madness-style bracket by a landslide. It wasn't pretty. One can only assume this comes from EA's use of deadlines to detract from game quality, as seen in games such as Mass Effect 3 and the recent launch of SimCity. The new micro-transactions like those found in Dead Space 3 probably just added fuel to the fire. Congrats, EA. Let's go for a hat trick next year.
That's about it for this week. Next week, I'll do my best to give you something a bit more substantial with a review of Injustice: Gods Among Us. It's the one game I'll buy this month, so I might as well talk about it.
Hey, everybody. I know that our blogger/reader relationship has been pretty hot and heavy over the past couple of months. But before we go on, I need you to know something:
Before last Friday, I had never seen The Lord of the Rings.
Hush, baby. Ain't no need to be upset. I realize that I associate myself with the title of "nerd," and I know that most people consider Peter Jackson's trilogy to be a hallmark of nerd culture. And in all actuality, I had seen some of the movies before. A friend lent me the extended editions over the summer, and I quickly lost interest. A word to the wise: If you have something you love that you want to share, keep the extended/director's cut/special editions to yourself - unless you want to be a terrible person (love you, Shannon). Yet, I want to say that there's no problem with the fact that I had been kept in the dark for so long. If this blog's readers actually left comments, that statement would get me in some trouble.
Let's take a time out real quick. I very much enjoyed the three films, even though next to nothing interesting happens for most of the second movie. I say that because I believe that I've developed the persona of a one who only looks for negative aspects of art to point out. But come on, we already discussed this.
I must note that from what I have perceived, the lifeblood of The Lord of the Rings franchise is its excess of homoerotic tension. Almost every scene in The Two Towers features two or more male characters conversing with text straight out of the Nicholas Sparks Novel Writing Handbook. They exchange stares that last a little too long but feel a little too right. I found myself on the edge of my seat, just waiting for a Hellbenders-esque moment to arrive. If that's what keeps people coming back for each installment, I get it. Most people already know my views on such hot-button issues.
However, I'm not here to tell you that the films were as good as I expected, or that the extended editions feature Pippin and Merry doing some heavy petting (special features, indeed). I would like to address the fact that had I still not seen The Lord of the Rings, I wouldn't care, and neither should you. And that's just okay.
"It is okay, Sam. It's natural."
Somewhere along the line, our society realized the greatness of the art it was putting out, and fabricated the idea that all of it should be taken in. Haven't heard Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon? You don't know true music. Haven't read the complete works of Jane Austen? You must not appreciate literature. Nerds have become the worst offenders: If you missed out on a certain film or comic or game, your "nerd cred" immediately comes under the microscope. And in my professional, high-brow opinion, those people can suck it.
I've never seen an episode of Star Trek. I've never picked up a copy of Sin City, film or comic. I will probably never read Game of Thrones, or any of the Martin books. Most of all, I don't see any of this in a negative light. I could talk for hours on the importance of art, and why we should care about it. Even so, I recognize the sheer mountain of art available, and even more the unlikeliness that any one person could absorb it all. The most we can ask for is that we all take in as much as we can and enjoy it. If not, we'll spend all of our time regretting what we haven't seen, read, heard, or done.
The next time someone mentions to you something similar to "I have never seen The Lord of the Rings," pretend they're me. By that, I mean you should sympathize and then offer them the DVDs, monetary recompense, and/or sexual favors. Just like The Golden Rule says.
Like, comment, subscribe, or tell me that those are things only on YouTube. Either way, write something down in the little white boxes to appease me.
Telltale Games' The Walking Dead came out as a downloadable game about six months ago. Even so, I just finished it, and it's been in the news as of late; might as well put it up for discussion. As the great modern philosopher Egoraptor once said, "Everything is happens for reason." Not to mention, after the mess that was the previous post, I thought I'd give you something that wasn't complete garbage.
For those of you who don't know, The Walking Dead is an episodic, downloadable game developed by Telltale Games, and it plays very much like the point-and-click adventure games of old (think Secret of Monkey Island). It follows a dude named Lee Everett as he protects Clementine, a girl he...just kinda found, in a zombie-infested Georgia. If you've read the comics or seen the show, you get the picture. The first episode dropped last summer, and the other four arrived throughout the remainder of the year. Unfortunately, the game flew under the radar until it started nabbing Game of the Year awards, with the most notable being from the abysmal Spike TV VGAs. Naturally, some people were upset, wondering how this assumed cash-in on the success of the television series triumphed over titles like Journey, Dishonored, and Mass Effect 3. I left out Assassin's Creed 3 from that list, because I was more surprised that it was nominated than that it lost.
You're looking at the pinnacle of interactive storytelling.
What I can say is that The Walking Dead is much more than deserving of this accolade. Above all else, it's one of the most new and unusual games released last year. The first thing anyone who has played it will tell you is that the gameplay is not The Walking Dead's true focus. Much of your time involves slowly moving around an area, talking to people, finding items, and performing various tasks. The pace is very slow, but it isn't always a bad thing; it only leads to the tense segments feeling much more active. When you get to the action, you'll quickly find that it involves quick-time events or pointing the cursor as fast as your reflexes allow. Not convinced? Don't write it off just yet. These portions are still fueled with as much adrenaline and emotion as the rest of the experience. Still not convinced? Hold on a second.
The main attraction here, and the reason for this game's importance, is The Walking Dead's story. The idea is that the game tailors the plot to the conversations you have and the actions you take. And it means it. Back someone up in a conversation? The other guy's going to be real pissed. Take too much time to assess a crisis? Your friend who was in trouble is gone. If you want to make it in this wasteland, you'll have to be fast and smart. Otherwise, you'll be travelling with a really small group. Usually, the issue people have with choose-your-own-adventure-type games is that one path is obviously more enjoyable than the other. Here, you'll be satisfied no matter how you play. And gosh darn, are the twists great. Anyone who's played will tell you how great the entirety of Episode 2 is, and the twist at the end of Episode 4 that drives Episode 5 throws a brilliant wrench into the protector/protected dynamic of Lee and Clem.
Characters in The Walking Dead have received no shortage of development. Each has his or her backstory, and each has his or her own motivations. Lee is an enigma atoning for his past, Kenny is the headstrong family man who only wants safety, Clem represents the remaining innocence in the wasteland, the list goes on. My friends and I were constantly forming and dissolving alliances with people, and, most commonly, uttering the phrase, "As soon as you get the chance, you gotta kill them."
This guy.
So it's a great game. What's the deal? The deal is, The Walking Dead just might set the standard for storytelling in games. In the future, these tactics might be met with some better gameplay, but I'm not complaining right now. The Walking Dead will most likely be counted among the great interactive story experiences this generation, such as Red Dead Redemption and the Mass Effect series. If you haven't understood anything I've said today, you're in luck. The Walking Dead is available on everything from PC to Xbox to the iPhone. So buy it, play it, love it.
